Parents teach their children 6 wrong attitudes
Educating children has always been a major event in life and has affected the hearts of millions of parents, because children are the continuation of our lives, and the century of life is fleeting.
With children, our desires and our ideals can be passed down from generation to generation. For example, if you have accumulated salary, you will rise to the next level and continue to explore new areas of glory.
However, there are the following six wrong attitudes to educating children, and many parents always commit them repeatedly without even realizing it.
(1) Too many praises will cause children many restraints and burdens. When parents’ expectations are not met, children will easily become frustrated and feel guilty.
For example, parents always praise their children as “too clever”. When the test results are not satisfactory, the children will have deep self-blame and coping, and their self-esteem and self-confidence will be hit hard.
Therefore, it is best for parents to praise their child for something specific, such as “Your homework is well written today!
(2) Excessive doubts. Because of their eagerness to learn more about their children, many parents often ask them once they are out of school. “Did the teacher ask you questions today?”
“” How was the math test?
“Who did you play with?”
“. Too many questions can only arouse children’s resentment and resistance, and earn a reputation of” hate “.
The effective way is to enter the children’s world, play with them more, chat, and inadvertently, you will discover many secrets of children.
(3) Too many commands “Write homework!
“” Turn off the TV! ”
“. Too many commands can easily make the child” deaf “. When children are often indifferent to such commands, parents should consider their credibility in the eyes of their children.
(4) Denying that this is a mistake that many parents make easily.
When the child says, “Mom, I’m afraid, the injection is very painful.” Parents often comfort and say, “Baby, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t hurt.
“This will make the child feel wronged and afraid.
A more sensible approach should be: “Baby, mother knows that injections are painful, but the illness can only be better after the injection.
“Knowing that they understand, the child will feel better.
(Five) scolding and mocking When children’s test scores are not satisfactory, some parents will shout, “Fool!
“This practice has severely hurt children’s self-esteem.
The right thing to do is to criticize things and not people.
(6) Don’t lead by example. When the children are fighting with others outside, the parents’ attitude of fighting and scolding causes a strong dissatisfaction in the child. “If you don’t let me fight, how can you still fight?
“In the eyes of the child, the parents have swept the prestige.
Education should be a two-way process.
Further reading: Parents educate their children about the banned phrase “You are an elder sister and you must let your younger sister.
“Speaking analysis: Many parents think that by saying this, they can resolve the disputes between their children.
Those who are already parents, thinking about their childhood, seem to have received such education from an early age, thinking that brothers and sisters should be allowed to be brothers and sisters, even if there is any dissatisfaction in the larger party, they can only accept it.
In fact, the key to solving children’s disputes is not their age, “fairness” is the most important principle.
Parents should change their perspectives and make their children realize that they have a responsibility to care for their siblings, rather than concede in principle.
Far-reaching impact: If parents use this tone to educate their children for a long time, only the larger party will hate their siblings and gradually become a mustache between the hands and feet; while the siblings rely on their young age and believe that others will take them for granted.Will keep making mistakes.
“This is my sister’s toy. My sister plays with her.
“Speaking analysis: Sometimes parents avoid two children competing for toys and buy two of the same toy, and the child will not be jealous because others have it.
If there were disputes between children over toys, parents said to them: “This is a sister’s toy, and the sister plays with her.
In fact, this method of teaching is a cure for the symptoms and not the root cause. Parents should let their children understand the needs of others by sharing toys with each other.
Far-reaching impact: If parents often let their children admit that certain things are theirs, and others are others, it is easy for them to establish the concept of “Chuhe Han Realm”. They do not understand the importance of sharing with each other and alienate the relationship between children.
“That obedient loves this.”Speaking analysis: Parents should not think that if they say this to their children, they can tame their children.
“Which person loves to sleep” will inculcate the child’s misconception that “love is conditional.”
Parents make their children feel that as long as they behave better and behave better, they will love you more.
The mentality of the elders will intensify the competition among the children unknowingly. In order to advance the elders’ love, cover up their true dispositions, and use various methods to please the elders.
Some self-confident children often think that the love of their elders is unreliable and inferior.
Far-reaching impact: In the long run, children will work hard to please their elders and lead their love, making them afraid to show their true self.
Even if children live in a family that should show their sincerity, they all seem to wear masks and live under invisible pressure.
“While my brother is alone, go and play with him.
“Speaking analysis: This imperative command will only offend children.
Imagine that the child is doing his own thing in high spirits, but in a word of the parents, the child has to let go of his own thing and play with his brother. Of course, the child will feel disappointed.
Even if the child plays with his brother, it may not be true.
Conversely, older children will feel that parents only care about the feelings of other children, but ignore themselves, which may intensify the division between brothers and sisters.
Far-reaching impact: If parents often violate their child’s feelings, it will only make the relationship between the child and the parent worse.
If parents often ask their children to do things they are not willing to do, they will cause their children to have strong dissatisfaction.
“She is our domestic servant and we have the right to scold her.
“Speaking analysis: No matter what happened, the parents said to the child,” She is just a nanny.
“This is a very class-oriented concept. Let the child recognize her as a servant, and if we hire her to work, we have the right to scold her!
This will make the child do not know how to respect others, and do not respect the efforts of the nanny for the family.
Imagine such a situation. If it is your child who made a mistake at home, but the parents blame the nanny for not taking care of it, this will only prevent the child from being properly instructed, and even under no circumstances will he know how to take responsibility.
Far-reaching impact: If parents blame the babysitter on their child’s words before they understand the truth of the matter, this will allow the erring child to repeat the same mistakes.
“Suddenly spoiled me in front of my aunt?
You will be punished when the guests leave!
“Analysis of speech: Relatives came from afar, the child was coquettish in front of others, and the parents were furious and said such things.
Of course, in order to avoid the embarrassment of the guests and themselves, the parents immediately scolded the children and prepared to say after the guests left.
However, because the parents and the guests were laughing and laughing, they forgot about the suspect’s affairs.
However, if the parents think that the child has made a mistake and do not immediately recognize it, waiting too long may not even allow the child to forget what was specified.
If you want to achieve the effect of punishment and let your child know that mistakes can be corrected, you must deal with it immediately, otherwise the effect will be greatly reduced.
Far-reaching impact: Implementing rewards and punishments should be dealt with immediately in order to be effective.
Most young children are forgetful, and the punishment that has been waiting too long may have completely forgotten their faults, and the effect of other punishments is greatly reduced.
“What’s the child’s name?
I asked the teacher to punish him!
“Speaking analysis: Parents accept the news that their child is bullying. Heartbreaking children naturally want to protect him and take advantage of him.
However, parents need to know that when children tell their own situation, they often want to get their parents’ attention first. Parents should teach their children how to solve problems with a caring attitude, instead of immediately asking a teacher to take the lead.
If the problem is not too serious, parents should let their children learn how to deal with it.
Such as encouraging children to tell the teacher, let the teacher handle it.
Remember: learning how to deal with problems is a stage that children must go through.
Far-reaching impact: Because of disputes among children, if a child encounters a problem, he or she should ask his parents for help. Who would dare to play with him?
This will only make the child more isolated.